事件一:
這是我常對病人說的句子.
尤其應用於女人身上.
我從不覺得男人會比女人 "比較" 得少, 但明顯女人比男人小心眼得多, 亦麻煩得多.
男人只會相互比較副作用. 例: "你痛d? 我仲痛!"/ "你嘔得有我勁?我胃酸都出埋."
女人則事無大小, 從治療次數、外觀、副作用, 到誰替她執行治療工序、病假及保險賠償額, 亦都比較一番. 許多時候, 我和其他男同事都呻: "放過我們啦!"
雖說電視報紙現在報導了有關癌症的療法, 但並非每個人也相同. 曾有乳癌的人見到鼻咽癌的人面上局部變黑, 便質疑我們隱瞞了療程副作用 :p ....唉! 不同部位的治療方法又怎能比較呢?
今日, 有女病人質疑保險金額. 和她同病同保險公司的另一位病人得到賠償, 而她卻一分錢也沒有. 但基於病人私隱, 我們也不適宜透露另一方的病情, 只跟她說保險公司作了正確的答覆. 當然她心心不憤, 但無奈事實是: 雖然她的病較重, 但由於沒有擴散, 保險公司是不會發放金額的.
上了寶貴的保險常識一課.
事件二:
工作了差不多5年. 本來我不覺得我們的 treatment technique 很 pro, 很"潮" ... 但由於 PM 的開幕, 引發起一連串的 technique-comparisons--- 終於發現, 我們原來跑得最前. (估不到!)
前陣子department 隱約討論 promotion 的問題. 我們差不多十年也沒升遷過任何人, 而且 II 的流失率很高. 有些同事跑去見 promotion Board/ recruitment Board, 得出的反應是: 其他院的 Managers 瞧不起我們. 因為一來這裹是 "鄉下地方"; 二來對方是教學醫院, 由於新聞發佈見光率很高, 便以為他們是最好, 最前衛的; 三來我前senior(炒了) 聲名狼藉 (溝patients 親屬), 令全行以為我們不思進取, 自甘墮落.(多得佢唔少).... etc.
即使QM refer 過來的有米patient(由於我們technique QM做不到) , 也趾高氣揚的,無禮地對待我的同事. 有時候我們想, 我們的 marketing/ advertising 做得太差了. 但另一方面又想, 我們反正不是靠number of patients 吃飯的, advertising 只會引入更多跨區patients, 做死我們.
到頭來, 還是那一句, "比咩比?安份d啦!"
20.7.06
驚夢
我最近睡得很沉.
實在太沉了, 許多時候己分不清是現實還是夢.
以前的我是睡得很理性的. 夢境中若遇見過世的親人跟我說 "xxxxx" 的話, 我會立刻回答: "你為什麼會在這兒出現? 你是不存在的".
然後 驚醒. 是那種頭很痛, 並會聽見心臟 "一砰一啪", 彷彿要跳出胸腔的驚醒. 就是這種頭、胸的痛, 我肯定的知道: 我回來了.
但最近, 我卻把夢境空間和現實混淆了. 臨近14:00, 是我午睡結束的時間. 睜開眼睛, 浮現腦中不再是 "work schedule", 卻是: "這?是什麼地方? 好像不是我家". 然後望望左右, 才發現還在 tea room 中.
有一次, 午間春夢未醒---那種談情說愛的荷爾蒙還在運行全身! 半夢半醒間, 發現阿K 睡在右邊 couch上, 登時大腦充血! (並不是我愛上他, 而是嚇了一跳... ) 以後, 我一定揀靠牆的couch 睡, 因為發現未婚男子在附近熟睡太刺激了.
希望日後開開心心的睡, 平平安安的醒!
10.7.06
關係無限
EIGHT BELOW
下午六時我跑到管理處,投訴D座的犬隻吠過不停.
我家現在沒有飼養寵物, 一來我沒多大耐性和愛心, 二來屋內空間不大. 我的父母親, 倒是和曾特首有共同興趣---飼養錦鋰. 半年前它們全遷到Jazzy夫家去了, 看來生活得很不錯. 我父母親, 另又偏愛神神氣氣, 氣宇軒昂的狗隻; 我則偏向貓兒, 因為獨立又乾淨, 而且不用花太多空間.
一分鐘前我看了 DVD "Eight Below". 我家頂層的屋主也養了同類犬隻. 我一直覺得牠們很可憐, 香港的氣候根本一點不像北極; 而且有很多偷犬賊.... 牠們也許有一天不知給偷運到哪呢! 我和其他普通人一樣, 認為用龐大經費去拯救一班極地雪犬, 是有點匪夷所思的. 但是人很奇怪, 當安然無恙時, 身邊的一切幫助就彷彿不是太重要, 只是 "畜牲罷了"的感覺. 但當生命在危難中時, 不論什麼, 救起你的就是神恩, 奇蹟, 恩典.
對於犬隻們,
我也許認為牠們很 "愚忠"(但是亦很感動), 即使空待五個多月, 牠們還是選擇相信人類. 在末段當犬隻奔向主人時, 我曾想過, 牠們下一步會否咬斷眾人的喉嚨, 以報復同伴的慘死?---- 很不幸, 因為我是奇怪的人類, 所以會複雜的假設 "仇恨"的結局.
那位博士是忘恩負義的. 他活著,是抱著"好運"的心理, 壓根兒沒當犬隻是救命恩人. 倒是兒子的一張圖畫提醒了他, 他的 "今日" 其實不是僥倖, 可以是"沒有"的.
主人是很單細胞的單純和忠誠, 而且對自己要求很高. 這就所謂的物以類聚吧?我很欣賞他沒有坐以待斃的作風, 也希望他能去做令自己心安的事情.
人和人的交往之所以有期限, 我想是因為不能簡簡單單的去愛, 去相信. 為什麼要透過人和獸的故事, 才知道 "關係", 是可以沒有期限的呢?
8.7.06
朋友的期限
人與人交往的期限在那兒呢?
有時候跟一些朋友聚會, 席間總聊到 "某某快結婚了"、 "某君也讀Master了" 或 "某人已升職了". 這些喜事, 聽到一定高興; 可是想想, 其實挺事不關己.
有時候跟一些朋友聚會, 席間總聊到 "某某快結婚了"、 "某君也讀Master了" 或 "某人已升職了". 這些喜事, 聽到一定高興; 可是想想, 其實挺事不關己.
那個某某,是我曾經暗戀過的人;那個某君,是曾經同桌吃飯過的同窗;而那個某人,曾幾何時是我的恩人.(借我抄過功課).這些在我生命中交匯過的人,如今卻是一年也不會email 聯絡一次.
朋友間的交往期限有多長呢? 我在想, 變了質但仍聯絡你的, 還算是朋友了嗎?
就好像我的一些大學同學,表相看似 "自己人" 般偶而約你出來聯誼,但實質上是 "show off time! " 最怕....最怕....當自己婉言退卻時, 對方回應: "你即係唔俾面唧!" ......於是我唔俾面到底, 所有他們的來電一概飛去voicemail.
但當某一日 "打聽" 到他們最新消息時, 還是會泛起失落: 原來他們巳到了這種地步,而自己則好像原封不動. 我想, 他們會繼續離我越來越遠.
我巳不曉得,這種疏離感, 是因為我嫉妒, 還是我"高竇過頭".
4.7.06
IS THIS ME?
My birth chart.
Sun in Taurus
She is strong-willed and conceited. She has charm, and is tolerant and stoical. She likes pleasure and the good things of Life. (Who doesn't?) Appreciates the Arts.
She is strong-willed and conceited. She has charm, and is tolerant and stoical. She likes pleasure and the good things of Life. (Who doesn't?) Appreciates the Arts.
Weaknesses: obstinacy, laziness. She is too materialistic, and is a snob. (bitchy?) She is greedy and proud.
Sun in IV
Influenced by the family, especially the mother. Proud, self-confident, she has faith in her future and is ambitious.
-76 Square Sun - Mars
She is violent, impulsive. She throws herself headlong into situations without ever thinking of the consequences of her actions. This can cause a lot of problems. She cannot stand still and channels badly the energy which she possesses. (sounds like 躁狂症!)
-184 Opposition Sun - Uranus
Her independence and need for liberty are all-important. She does not accept constraints or barriers. Mainly extravagant eccentricity. (I always said I am a weirdo, see?)
Moon in Pisces
Imaginative, sharp insights. She is impressionable, with an abundant imagination. Multiple births.
Weaknesses: troubles caused by too much sentimentality, worries, problems, unhealthy imagination, nervousness.
Moon in II
Very ingenious and inventive where earning money is concerned. (but just think, think, think... ONLY) Moves around, travels.
83 Trine Moon - Uranus
She is imaginative and has the Moon's intuition complemented by Uranus' independence and originality. Her life is out-of-the-ordinary, with lots of changes and a great knowledge of the world not through reading but through personal experience. She likes the sensational, new things. She acts instinctively, but fortunately has a good sixth sense. She likes to be surrounded by original people, artists.
-93 Square Moon - Neptune
She lacks firmness, she is weak and lazy. She likes to live in a dream, in the imaginary.
Mercury in Aries
She argues, disputes, discusses, answers back. (即係駁嘴駁舌) Lively mind which quickly understands a given situation. She is very resourceful and capable.
Weaknesses: she is impetuous, hot-headed, petulant. Impatient and hasty, which causes problems due to lack of foresight before acting. (匹夫之勇....)
Mercury in III
Deep studies. Adaptable. She is attracted to the Arts/letters. She knows how to share ideas. Moves around a lot professionally. She can easily keep many irons in the fire at the same time.
89 Trine Mercury - Neptune
She can put down in writing everything that her imagination and intuition dictates.
-133 Opposition Mercury - Pluto
She is impatient. She likes contradiction and is irascible. Her arguments are noisy and animated.
Venus in Gemini
"Gift of the gab", always finds the right expression. A good talker, refined, with a love of the Arts. Two-sided in emotional affairs, flirtatious. Superficial emotions. Countless and inconstant love affairs. (really countless???) Likes to play love games.
Weaknesses: Instability and fickleness in love. Often goes too far in love because of the desire to flirt and play on the other person, who will often suffer - but that is not her problem. Inconstant in love, which is ephemeral: she is unfaithful and can sometimes speak caustically. (是在說我似蕩婦嗎?)
Sun in IV
Influenced by the family, especially the mother. Proud, self-confident, she has faith in her future and is ambitious.
-76 Square Sun - Mars
She is violent, impulsive. She throws herself headlong into situations without ever thinking of the consequences of her actions. This can cause a lot of problems. She cannot stand still and channels badly the energy which she possesses. (sounds like 躁狂症!)
-184 Opposition Sun - Uranus
Her independence and need for liberty are all-important. She does not accept constraints or barriers. Mainly extravagant eccentricity. (I always said I am a weirdo, see?)
Moon in Pisces
Imaginative, sharp insights. She is impressionable, with an abundant imagination. Multiple births.
Weaknesses: troubles caused by too much sentimentality, worries, problems, unhealthy imagination, nervousness.
Moon in II
Very ingenious and inventive where earning money is concerned. (but just think, think, think... ONLY) Moves around, travels.
83 Trine Moon - Uranus
She is imaginative and has the Moon's intuition complemented by Uranus' independence and originality. Her life is out-of-the-ordinary, with lots of changes and a great knowledge of the world not through reading but through personal experience. She likes the sensational, new things. She acts instinctively, but fortunately has a good sixth sense. She likes to be surrounded by original people, artists.
-93 Square Moon - Neptune
She lacks firmness, she is weak and lazy. She likes to live in a dream, in the imaginary.
Mercury in Aries
She argues, disputes, discusses, answers back. (即係駁嘴駁舌) Lively mind which quickly understands a given situation. She is very resourceful and capable.
Weaknesses: she is impetuous, hot-headed, petulant. Impatient and hasty, which causes problems due to lack of foresight before acting. (匹夫之勇....)
Mercury in III
Deep studies. Adaptable. She is attracted to the Arts/letters. She knows how to share ideas. Moves around a lot professionally. She can easily keep many irons in the fire at the same time.
89 Trine Mercury - Neptune
She can put down in writing everything that her imagination and intuition dictates.
-133 Opposition Mercury - Pluto
She is impatient. She likes contradiction and is irascible. Her arguments are noisy and animated.
Venus in Gemini
"Gift of the gab", always finds the right expression. A good talker, refined, with a love of the Arts. Two-sided in emotional affairs, flirtatious. Superficial emotions. Countless and inconstant love affairs. (really countless???) Likes to play love games.
Weaknesses: Instability and fickleness in love. Often goes too far in love because of the desire to flirt and play on the other person, who will often suffer - but that is not her problem. Inconstant in love, which is ephemeral: she is unfaithful and can sometimes speak caustically. (是在說我似蕩婦嗎?)
Venus in V
She wants to succeed in love-life. She meets pleasant people and has very good friends, always without conflict. She likes amusements, parties. She has lots of children. (if $$ is affordable)
144 Venus - Mars
She is amorous, not a peaceful and calm lover but a passionate one with a strong temperament. She is demonstrative in love, and likes healthy pleasures. She enjoys life to the full.
Mars in Leo
Combative strength. She always realizes her schemes. Can undertake big projects, conclude them successfully and receive the deserved rewards. She likes responsibilities and difficulties above all, and imposes herself forcefully.
Weaknesses: Combative force can lead to violence if she thinks it necessary. She is bold, presumptuous, intrepid: she likes to face danger and can naturally have a few hiccups on the way.
Mars in VII
She dominates her associates, colleagues. She is the same in love life, dominating the spouse and this makes for a stormy relationship in prospect. (That's really bitchy!)
Jupiter in Cancer
Peaceful, calm nature. Fertile imagination. Likes home life and material comforts. A good cook, because she is relatively greedy and takes pleasure in conjuring up little things that are good to eat.
Weakness: She likes to eat too much, likes own home and comfort too much and has the tendency to be a stay-at-home, going out without any pleasure because home is always best. (Please DO pull me out!)
Jupiter in VI
She has a responsible job in an organization. Dislikes working for herself. She helps the sick and under-privileged with kindness. Probably overdoes the good life, she likes animals, the country.
-54 Opposition Jupiter - Ascendant
She does not listen to those around her, she is pretentious and goes to excess when eating.
Saturn in Leo
In a position of authority, she likes responsibilities and assumes them. She receives favours from patrons, who recognize her merits or similarly receives honors in return for well-accomplished tasks.
Weaknesses: abuse of power, little feeling in the workplace. (Har! I know now... y I never have the "fit in" feeling.)
Saturn in VIII
Financially not very well off, average salary. The spouse is also not rich. (don't spoil my last dream) Possibility of a small inheritance, which helps a lot. Long life and natural death, if the aspects allow.
Uranus in Scorpio
Intelligent and subtle. Adores research, inquiry, investigation. Very sensual.
Uranus in X
She must have an independent career, with no routine, which satisfies her need to move around, travel and which must in particular have an element of risk attached. She is eccentric. (born to be a boss, not employee)
Neptune in Sagittarius
Likes long voyages, things foreign, water.
Neptune in XII
She likes isolation, a withdrawn life, dreams and meditation. She has little desire for action.
Pluto in Libra
Brings changes.
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